Reliable and genuine discipline comes not from repression, but from an understanding of all the whys and wherefores of our actions.

I left a conversation this week reflecting on the effects of pursuing goals that might have a perceived negative effect on someone else. Interesting subject. The goal we were discussing is a long held dream. Is the delay of pursuing this goal really based on a fear of upsetting someone else or is it a fear somehow connected to breaking down or achieving that goal? Possibly both.

It’s important that we share our goals with the people around us, especially if it affects them as well. They need to be allowed the chance understand what the goal is and what it means for you.

Not taking action can be as harmful as pursuing the goal, especially if it is really important to you. If the other person senses a frustration or resentment towards them then that is possibly as damaging as sharing your goal and having an open and honest conversation about it.

What’s the answer…I don’t have a the answer but I think I’ll conclude that it is really important to share your goals as you don’t truly know how someone will react until they are given all of the information and allowed to choose for themselves how they want to react. Secondly, I think that if you ultimately decide not to take action in pursuing your goal then you need to let any associated frustration or resentment go. Feel proud of the values you hold. It isn’t easy but changing the focus from a feeling of loss or disappointment to one that celebrates the strength of the values you prioritised over achieving your goal is a positive, admirable thing.

At the end of the day we make our own decisions it’s important we feel proud of the choices we make.

I've recently had a conversation about idea validation and since that I've been thinking what a valuable stage it is in developing a new business idea.

When I worked for WEETU I loved the introductory meetings where the women shared their business ideas. It was such a huge step for some women, sharing an idea they'd possibly dreamed about for years. Just to turn up and say out loud 'this is what I'm planning to do' was a huge step and it would suddenly made it feel very real; exciting and scary in probably equal measures.

I miss that somewhat privileged role of hearing and sharing all those wonderful ideas. Now instead, I find myself on the other side and it was actually quite hard to know where to go for that essential idea validation stage. I'm grateful to Richard Garnett of Centre Solutions in Norwich for providing the constructive criticism I was looking for. Now for the adrenaline fuelled, nail biting stage!

Found a useful 5 point checklist in the book I'm reading.

Relative Advantage - Being better than the previous solution. How well does the plan show how much better off people will be when they adopt the plan?

Compatability - Consistent with values, experiences and needs: How well does the plan demonstrate that it is compatible with current values, past experiences, and needs?

Complexity - Being difficult to understand and use: How well does the plan provide for easy communication, comprehension and use?

Trialability - May be experimented with on a limited basis: How well does the plan allow for trialability?

Observability: Results are visable to others: How well does the plan provide results that are easily observed and visible to others?

Source: Isaksen, S. and J.Tidd (2006) Meeting the Innovation Challenge: Leadership for Transformation and Growth.

I'm reading a new book about innovation at the moment and enjoyed the quote by Andy Grove, one of the founders of Intel 'only the paranoid survive!'.

I'm working on my own innovative idea at the moment and I look forward to the point where I need to be concerned about its survival; I'm currently at the stage where all the effort is in getting the concept tight enough to sell.

Isn't it fascinating the things we allow to get in the way of achieving our full potential? Which ones are real and which ones have we made up to keep us where we are?

I recently read a book that questioned 'how hot it had to get in the kitchen, before we got out?' Lovely question - the book was by Donna Cook I believe.

I’ve been loosely involved in some great conversations around coaching and mentoring recently. With the government’s aim of engaging 40,000 voluntary business mentors, will the current reputation of mentoring be affected? To an extent that’s what has happened with coaching, when I first worked as a performance coach about 12 years ago there were very few coaches around but now there are many. What I think will be interesting is the added dimension of the mentoring being offered on a ‘voluntary basis’. I’m curious to find out how easy will it be to find an effective match and whether the quality of the relationships will be measured in any way.